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Spurred On by the Crazy (Part 1)

Set your stomach on laugh alert: drycleaning customer stories almost too wacky to believe

CHICAGO — Sheer crazy and just plain ol’ funny. Heart-touching, madcap, and memorable.

You’ve seen all these types of customers. You’ve smiled and laughed and shaken your head in amazement over their antics, nutty peculiarities, and touching gestures.

Now, we bring some of your tales together in one place.

American Drycleaner asked dry cleaners from across the country to share their favorite “customer crazy” moments, and here they are. Funny! Amazing! Touching, too! Sit back and enjoy!

COWBOY STARCH

From Dave Wood, owner, Lapel’s of Littleton, Colo.:

“I have a regular customer that comes in to the store wearing spurs.

“Simple man, works with horses, owns his own business and works through all kinds of hardships and problems, ranging from broken trailers, sick animals, on call 24 hours a day, and getting thrown from a horse, ending up in traction for a couple of days.

“Other than the traction thing, not unlike what dry cleaners tend to deal with — broken critical equipment, sick or absent employees, just fighting the fight.

“Oh, yeah, he likes his shirts and jeans with heavy starch, what we affectionately call ‘Cowboy Starch.’ The shirt and jeans can literally stand up on their own with no other means of support!

“A second story: Customer brings in a rug that her grandfather kept on the floor of his cabin in 1920. We did a great job cleaning it but when she took it home, her kids managed to break a lava lamp all over the rug, which took another lengthy cleaning to fix it.

“Another: This customer brings in her grandfather’s World War II Navy uniform. When inspecting it, we found two complete packs of matches in the pockets complete with WW II-era advertising.

“Still another: A woman brings in the school mascot costume of an eagle. Her daughter is supposed to wear it but it has been less than loved. Mom was worried that it wasn’t ‘feminine’ enough. We cleaned it, fixed it and combed it out. She was thrilled, and proud of her daughter wearing it along the sidelines. Point of the story: boy eagle transformed into girl eagle.

“Last one: We have a customer that rides his bike year-round and in all weather (a challenge in Colorado), complete with snow tires and chains for the bicycle. He has special bags to carry his finished clothes!”

RING FOR SERVICE

Griffin (Duke) Quinones, owner, Vapor Sudden Service Cleaners, Monterey, Calif.:

“This is our story: A customer sent in drapes for dry cleaning which were quite large and hadn’t been cleaned for quite a while. After marking in the drapes, our CSR slid them off the marking table into a basket and something shiny caught her eye.

“Along the bottom of the drapes, attached to the inside of the hemline with a safety pin, was a diamond wedding ring. It was a very impressive ring with a large diamond.

“We called the customer, who was quite elderly, to tell her we had her wedding ring. Turns out, her deceased husband had been a retired Navy admiral, and she was living alone.

“She was afraid in the event of a robbery at her house, the diamond would, of course, be stolen. She attached the ring to the bottom of the drapes for safekeeping but had forgotten about it being there.

“We happily returned the ring to her, and all was well.”

VIDEO DOCS NOT

Paul Billoni, owner, Colvin Cleaners, Kenmore, N.Y.:

“One of our best is when a woman brought in 12 pieces of clothing. She came to pick them up and took them home. She brought back a two-piece dress suit and said it was not hers.

“We have 28 cameras in and around our plant. We went to the front counter cameras first. It showed her dropping off the clothes and individually we could see the garments going into a counter bag.

“The suit in question was clearly seen and the label was very visible. The label actually had some discoloration on it from a piece of masking tape that I think came from a thrift store, and this was visible on the video.

“We called the customer and let her know our findings. She did not believe us, and we invited her in to view the video. When she saw the video, she just looked at us, shook her head and said that we doctored the tapes.

“We were very polite and respectful as always but in light of what we saw on the videos, we were not going to do anything further. Within a week, we were summoned to small claims court.

“We took still pictures from the videos of her dropping the clothes off and when the judge viewed all the evidence, he asked her what she wanted.

“She told the judge she just wanted her clothes back. The judge commented that the clothes she brought into the court are the same clothes in the video.

“She told the judge we did a good job of doctoring the tapes. The judge did a wonderful job holding back a laugh and said he would reserve his decision and we would receive it in the mail.

“We won, thank God, but it was quite humorous.”

SPOTS — SOME PEOPLE OUGHT TO STOP

Mike Nesbit, president, MW Cleaners, Houston, Texas:

“I had a customer that picked up her cleaning and immediately pulled up the plastic. For anyone that has been in the business, you know that is always a sign for things to come.

“‘Sure enough,’ she exclaimed. ‘You didn’t get my spots out!’

“The CSR looked at the garment but couldn’t see a spot. She said, ‘I am sorry. I don’t see any spots.’

“With a more emphatic voice, she screamed, ‘Are you blind?! I would like to see the manager.’

“So the CSR came and got me and explained, ‘There is a customer up front screaming at me about a spot we didn’t get out and I just can’t see it.’

“Bracing myself for the confrontation ahead, I walked up with a big smile and asked, ‘How can I help you?’

“‘You can help me by getting this spot out,’ she said. ‘I thought this was a reputable place. Certainly considering what you charge, you should be ashamed of yourself.’

“I looked at the garment and, not unlike the CSR, I couldn’t see a thing.

“I said, ‘I am so sorry but can you point out where the stain is?’

“By this time, she was in a rage. ‘Are you kidding me? You can’t see that?’ As she pointed, I still saw nothing.

“Then my light bulb went off. ‘Oh, yes, I see it now.’

“She replied: ‘Good! I thought you were blind.’

“I said, ‘Please forgive us and let me work on it for you. Can I get it to you tomorrow?’

“She replied, ‘Yes, but let’s get it right this time.’

“As she exited the store, I pulled down the plastic and put it right back on the conveyor. My CSR looked at me as if I was crazy, and I explained, ‘No, it is her that is crazy!’

“Next day, she arrived and went through the same routine. She anxiously pulled up the plastic and said, ‘I see that you got it out. Why didn’t you do that the first time?’

“I just smiled, all the while thinking what a hard way to make a living!”

Check back tomorrow for the conclusion.

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(Image licensed by Ingram Publishing)

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“Calling All Crazy Customers!” Dry cleaners share stories that will make you laugh, shake your head, and touch your heart, too. (Image licensed by Ingram Publishing)

Have a question or comment? E-mail our editor Dave Davis at [email protected].